So it’s time to go back to school. Boo hoo, you may say. Or yipee, if you’re a parent. But you’ve got it lucky. You get a summer break and a winter break and, frankly, way too many breaks–just ask Kara Thrace.
There are no breaks for the nuggets aboard Battlestar Galactica. You don’t get a break until you die. Unless you’re thrown into the brig for humming that one Jimi Hendrix song. But that’s okay because everyone on Galactica has spent some time in the brig at one point or another–it’s like a rite of passage or something.
But you’re not in school to learn how to fly a Viper or shoot down Cylons. Because, honestly, I don’t think you could handle it. And because Vipers and Cylons don’t really exist. At least not yet…
So while the pilots-in-training on the Galactica wear standard issue boots that were made to make Viper piloting easy on the toes (or something), you have the power to decide how to outfit your feet every day of your life. So you better make them look good, nugget!
There are way too many men that only have one pair of shoes. I mean, really…do you guys wear the same pair of underwear everyday? No, dude, you gotta change them at least every other week! So do your feet a favor and get yourself a few different pairs of shoes. Your feet and your girlfriend will thank you. Also, it’s probably time you changed your underwear. Just FYI.
So what kind of shoes should you get? Oh, you poor thing…you’re so lucky we’re here for you.
You’re going to need a pair of cowboy boots. Why? Well, because there are some occasions that call for cowboy boots. And only cowboy boots. Like when that cute girl in your Anthropology class asks you to go to a barn raising or a hoedown or something. Or if you just want something to look good with a pair of jeans. Or if you just want to be really really, cool. We dig these Laredo 12 inch Range Man Boots in Tan Cracked Goat and Green. They’ve got class, color, and a country-western flair that will totally get you an A in being awesome.
But, sadly, unless you’re a bona fide cowboy, society tends to frown on you if you wear cowboy boots every. Single. Day. It’s a problem, really. Someone needs to start a protest. Which you could totally do, because nothing says “I’m a cool kid in college that cares about issues like the environment and everybody’s right to wear cowboy boots on a daily basis,” like participating in a protest on campus. And if you really want to show that you’re a cool college kid that cares about issues like the environment, you totally need the Timberland Tree Newmarket 2.0 Cup Canvas Hi-Tops in Black. Or really any color. They even have these puppies in camo. The canvas upper, laces, and mesh lining are all made from 100% recycled plastic bottles. It’s like all those water bottles you recycled over your lifetime have come back to thank you in the form of a super-awesome hi-top. You’re totally welcome, sincerely bottles.
So you’re going to college. Or maybe you’re still in high school. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you’re quickly becoming a woman. I’ll spare you all that flowery stuff about how you’re blossoming into a beautiful young lady and blah blah blah. What I will tell you is this: Every woman must own a pair of cowgirl boots. I swear to all chocolate that this is totally a rule.
…Okay, maybe it’s not a rule, but seriously? How could you resist buying yourself a pair of totes adorbs boots. Like these Dan Post Blue Bird Boot in Chocolate. It’s got birds, hearts, and flowers. So there’s really no reason not to own them. They’ll boost your confidence so much that you’ll have no problem acing that Statistics class with the teacher that everyone says is soooo hard. You’ll be a super hero of awesome, and your boots are your super power.
You ever wake up feeling oddly refreshed, only to realize you slept in and you have a final in exactly 15 minutes? If you haven’t, trust me, you will. I can also assure you that you’ll spend at least 10 of those minutes looking for things–your keys, your notes to study at red lights (not that I’ve done that or anything…), and those annoying little blue books. The one thing you won’t have to spend eternity looking for? Your Timberland Tree Caska Flats in Teal. You just keep these babies right by the front door and slip them on (you don’ t even have to look for socks!) as you’re rushing out the door and totally forgetting every single writing utensil you own. Sorry. At least your feet will be adorably adorned.
Girls and pink go together like cupcakes and frosting. Sure, there are some girls out there who avoid the color pink like it was made of broccoli and carrots. But there are also girls who love pink like they love broccoli and carrots. Because broccoli and carrots are delicious. That was a bad metaphor. But still…
Pink shoes! These are the Timberland Tree Euro Hiker Boot in Hot Pink and Lilac. They’ll totally match that tutu that you’re beginning to believe is glued onto your little girl. And the rugged hiker style boot may just convince your tomboy that pink is such a bad color. Maybe. If not, these boots also come in Grey and Royal Blue, for those girls who would rather climb trees than twirl around in a tutu. And for boys, obviously. Because boys would always rather climb trees than twirl around in a tutu. And both the pink and grey versions are available in both kids and youth sizes.
You can’t send the kiddos back to school without a pair of cowboy boots! I mean, unless you want to be the worst parent ever. For your little cowgirl, we suggest the Ariat Fancy Distressed Boot in Chocolate Brown, with a little bit of pink and some sassy leather fringe. Trust me, her social calendar will fill up with pony-themed birthday parties within a week.
For the boys, there’s the Laredo Big Horn Boot in Black. It’s got a white steerhead cutout and stars on the front, which will let all the other kids know that your cowboy is tough and rugged, but also a good kid that they should be friends with. Yes. That’s exactly what these boots say. Trust me. I speak boot.