Traveling Through Time? Dress Yo’self!

Throughout the years, we have seen time travelers come and time travelers go. Literally. They just come, mess everything up, try to fix it before the Enchantment Under the Sea dance (I’m looking at you, Marty McFly), and then go back to whatever time period they came from. Only to possibly come back to fix some mistake they made in the future and then they have to avoid letting their other self see them, while simultaneously helping that other self out and–time travel is confusing.


It looks like a ball of yarn, but it’s really a ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey…stuff.


So maybe you stole a TARDIS (you devilish Time Lord, you), or perchance you took a sweet ass car and made it even sweeter by doing some timey-wimey stuff that involves borrowing some plutonium from some Libyans that–spoiler alert–will probably come back and try to kill you. You should probably look out for that. Also? Since DeLoreans are kind of in short supply, you should totally make your time machine out of a Tesla Roadster. It’s electric, dude. So you probably won’t even need plutonium and you can avoid all that messy Libyan drama. Problem solved.


It’s green…in both senses of the word!

Now, I know you’re eager to get out there on the open time road, but before you start entering eras all willy nilly, you’re totally going to need a watch. Why? Because DUH! Time travel…it has the word time in it already! Think of it kind of like traveling through time zones, except they’re more like year zones. You need to keep track of the time where you are and where you came from. But wait, you may be asking yourself, can’t I just travel back to whatever time I want? Why would time matter then? Well, know-it-all, how are you going to travel to whatever time you want if you don’t know what time you’re in. Boom. Mind blown. Now, stop questioning my logic and go check out this post to learn more about keeping track of yourself in time.


Doc Brown wears a watch, so it must be important in time travel. Because he’s a scientist.

You got your ride figured out and you got your super cool time piece. Good. Now, where shall we go? Or should I say, when shall we go?! Ha…get it?! Time travel humor.


First, you should totally go check out the future. There’s no chance of getting into some mess that will completely change the present day. All you have to do is avoid meeting your future self. Totally do-able.


Well, the future is bright, my friend, and you’re going to need some sunglasses. Check out the 5.11 Burner Full Frame Plain Lens Sunglasses.


5.11.52033 Burner Full Frame Plain Sunglasses Lens

It’s got some serious UVA and UVB protection (serious like 100% protection, man). Because you never know how much of the ozone layer will be left in the future and you need to be prepared for some serious sunning. The t-shell coating protects the lenses from scratches and cracking, because time travel can be hazardous. And scratchy. Don’t trust me? Just try them on for size. The TPR nose bridge will keep your glasses in place, no matter what the 22nd century may throw your way. Which might be a lot, judging from the things fictional television shows and movies tell us about the future.


Now, let’s talk about your style. There’s nothing wrong with it now, but, c’mon, do you really think your ripped t-shirt will still be in style 30 years from now? Probably not. So it’s a good idea to arm yourself with an arsenal of new threads to help you combat outdated style. Because you never know what those crazy kids will be wearing in the year 2123. I’d suggest the Carhartt Men’s Definition of  Tough Long-Sleeve T-Shirt.


Carhartt 100008 Men’s Definition of Tough L/S T-Shirt

Why? Just look at what that shirt says. Carhartt has been around since 1889. Another 100 years is nothing to them. People in the future will totally get this t-shirt because, like the people of today, they’ll totally be like, “wow, 1889, that Carhartt brand has sure been around for a long time. Awesome.” Plus, the shirt totally tells people that you, like Carhartt, are the definition of tough. I mean, it says it right on the shirt–what better advertising could you want?! Any future thugs wouldn’t want to mess with you in that shirt. Bonus: You could even wear this shirt if you go back in time. Just don’t wear it if you go to 1888…that could get awkward.


For something more futuristic, try the Red Kap Unisex Hi-Visibility Short Sleeve T-Shirt.



Red Kap SYK6 Unisex L/S Hi-Vis S/S T-Shirt Fluorescent Yellow/Green

This t-shirt is bright and if Science Fiction taught me anything, it’s that people in the future always wear bright clothing. Always. And if they don’t, this shirt is so awesome, that you’ll totally start a trend of hi-vis clothing in the future. Because safety never goes out of style. Plus, it’s got a pocket. Because you can never have too many pockets when you’re cruising through time.


But wait. There’s one more. I saved the best for last, and this one is for the ladies. Because time travel is not sexist.


Ariat 10483 Women’s Cambria 1/4 Zip Posh Green


Okay, so the Ariat Women’s Cambria 1/4 Zip Polo in Posh Green is a riding polo. But, really, it’s time to think outside the saddle and really look at this top. I mean. Look at it.


…Are you looking at it?! This shirt just screams flying cars and hoverboards, especially considering the brightly-colored fashion rule set out in SciFi. It is glorious and I promise that if you hit up 2213 wearing this, you’ll blend in like a nerd at ComicCon.


Image credit: Fuel-Efficient-Vehicles.org, TV Tropes, Pocket Calculator,

Lisa Mabie

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